To My Ex-Husband -Pamela


Pamela's Myspace
To read Pamela's Story click Here
To read Pamela's Poem click Here


To My Ex-Husband,

Had you not called me a murderer because I was in a car accident where Bill our neighbor was killed and then bolted out of my life when I needed your support the most maybe I would be further along in my recovery, I don?t know why I expected your support after all the things you put me thru in our abusive marriage where I kept coming back for more thinking I still loved you each time you said I am sorry, I can forgive you but I will never forget that day when I felt like he was more important than me not sure why I was surprised anyone whose was not at our home including our 2 sons meant less to you than your so called friends or people you really didn't know but being the mother of your 2 sons your wife who you were married to for 23 years I guess his life was more important, I am sorry he lost his life that day but it wasn?t my fault and I have just begun to realize that, I am sorry I tried to kill myself twice over the guilt I felt, the guilt I live with everyday like when I run into any of his family it hurts so bad because I have no answers I have no memory of that day at all for God's sake I was in a coma for three months I guess when you figured out I would probably never work again it was easier to just leave your life with your family behind, I am sorry for everything I put everyone who truly loves me through like our sons who really don?t speak to you at all anymore because of what you put me through what did you think that they would take your side, I am so thankful they stood beside me thru the good and the bad and I know I have put them thru so much first not knowing if I would live after my wreck and then the two times I tried to end my life on my own I feel so bad for that, suicide is a selfish act and I never once stopped and thought had I succeeded what that would have done to them but they have forgiven me, really they were never mad at me they just worry a lot, I have had so many surgeries and it is our boys who have been there for everyone of them and after to help take care of me when they aren't at work, must be nice to just move on as if all those years never happened, move another women in with you and raise her 13 year old daughter as your own, especially since you where never there for our kids but someday you will be so alone, because I don't know that they can forgive you I don't trash you we rarely speak your name, now its like you never existed in our lives how does it feel KARMA is a bitch and your going to get bad things 10 fold thrown back at your face, as of now they don?t want you at their weddings or around their own kids when they have them I realize I am the lucky one now you might be happy for the moment but anyone who knows you knows you?ll mess up your new life soon and be all alone with no one to blame but yourself

-Pamela




Letters to Abusers


HOME