Sexual Abuse, Assault, and Rape Awareness

My Trial

Joni Nicole Poole

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Hearts pounding, hands sweating, tears falling, a scream is then heard throughout the room. "Quiet down before I have to ask you to leave the room", Judge Williams said. She was speaking to my sister. The outburst was caused by hearing a verdict that we all have waited a year for, well most of us. "We the Jury, find the defendant, Martin Malone Griffin, Guilty". The sound resonates throughout the court room. Guilty. I can not believe my ears. I turn to look at everyone else's reactions to see if what I heard was true. It is and I can now sigh with relief. Guilty. I have just found out that dreams can come true.

The past year has become my first experience with the judicial court system. Growing up I expected that I would have to go to court at least one time in my life. I never thought it would come so soon. I always thought I may have to attend a court hearing because of a speeding ticket or maybe even a civil case. However, I never thought I would be in court fighting for justice. I was fighting, fighting for my rights, fighting for a purpose, and fighting so that I would not become just another statistic. One might ask, "How did this all begin?"

I sit in a witness holding room full of family and friends. I hear the sounds of relief, fear, and tears. The sound of accomplishment fills the room. I am in a room full of people I care about, but why do I feel I am sitting alone? It seems as though I am the only one who realizes that although the judicial system is supposed to stand up for the innocent and fight for justice, the system often fails the most important people, the victims of crime. My emotions begin to overwhelm me. I have tried to stay strong for so long. Now, I am broken.

Nearly a year ago to this day, I became a victim of a violent crime. A crime that is about over powering those weaker than you. I became a victim of Rape. I did not understand how someone I trusted could do such a thing. He was even a member of my own family. During the attack my only goal was to make it out alive. I was only 16. I was still a child. I may have been a child that could drive, but I was still child none the less. Now, I was a victim of a crime that should never happen.

I left work, ashamed, degraded, and feeling worse than I had ever felt before. I remember my body trembling as I climbed into the driver's seat. I was told I could tell no one. I knew something had to be done. I drove away and when I felt I was out of seeing distance, I began calling for help. I had to fight back. I could not be defeated. I drove to my mother's work and tried to tell her what happen. I was weeping and I could feel my throat tighten. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't talk, but I had to. Tears began to fall from her eyes as the details of what happen at work began to unfold. She held me tight and cried.

A few hours after the attack, we arrived at the hospital. It was there, I began feeling as though I was the one on trial. After I was heavily medicated, I was interviewed by police officers. The investigator made numerous comments telling my mother that he did not believe me and the case would go no where. I wanted to run and never look back. I wanted to go far away and hide. I knew I couldn't run and hide. I knew if I let the monster get away with it, he would do it again to someone else.

Upon arriving home, I could see the first signs that the crime was going to divide my family. Some were furious with me for reporting the crime. Others said, "You will ruin our family name and you should have just let the men in the family handle this". I began to feel more and more isolated. As time began to pass, depression, anxiety, and tears became a normal occurrence in my home.

Law enforcement did not want to move the case forward. They had many excuses including lack of evidence, they did not believe me, and they had no probable cause for an arrest. I could not understand how this could happen. Our justice system is supposed to protect the innocent and the weak. Yet, I am the one being judged by everyone around me. I could not understand anything that was happening. On TV the bad guy had always been caught, tried, and convicted in a matter of days. However, months had passed and nothing was being done.

The first court hearing came and passed. Like so many times before, nothing was being done. The second court hearing came. This time the Magistrate Judge threw the case out. He said that although we had a positive DNA match, he found no probable cause to move the case forward. We were then escorted out of the court room. I was failed, once again, by the system that was made to protect me. Angry, frustrated, and broken, we made a final attempt at receiving justice by talking to the Assistant District Attorney. She was infuriated with the proceedings that had taken place over the last few months. She told me that although she could not guarantee a conviction, she was willing to give it a try. I agreed to move the case forward in an effort to try and receive some form of justice.

Around this time I began counseling. At first I refused, because I was told only crazy people needed counseling. I was defiantly not crazy and I didn't need a counselor to tell me that. However, I was forced to attend session to learn to be "a better actor and show more emotions". My first counselor was crazier than I was. After a few sessions with her, I quit attending. I was then referred to a mental hospital. There I was told I wasn't crazy enough to receive counseling from the hospital. I was then referred to The Sunshine House Regional Children's Advocacy Center. Although I was still reluctant to attend, I went. My counselor became the person who aided me the most through out the court process and to her I owe my sanity, as well as my livelihood.

The case was brought before the Grand Jury. The charges were Rape, False Imprisonment, and Sexual Battery. If convicted on all charges, the minimum would be 25 years to life. I testified at the Grand Jury hearing and left the decision in the hands of 23 people. Their decision would either involve dropping the case or moving the case to trial. Scared beyond my wits end, I waited. My heart sank when I heard the Grand Jury found probable cause for a warrant of arrest. This meant the perpetrator would be arrested and I had to prepare for trial. After his arrest, a bond hearing was held. He was denied bond and would have to remain in jail until trial began.

In preparation for trial, we had to choose 14 jurors from the jury pool. This was a difficult and compromising choice on both the prosecution's and defense's behalf. The members were chosen, however, the trial date was postponed due to the lead investigator's farming accident. This meant we would have to choose another jury and have a new trial date. I was disappointed. Because I knew he would remain in jail until trial, I felt slightly relieved.

It was officially one year from the day the crime occurred. One year of feeling ashamed and tormented by those around me. I felt different. I felt as though my path I life had been altered. I became an advocate. I had recently founded the Sexual Abuse, Assault, and Rape Awareness organization. I was now standing up for victims and helping them find there voice. I had a purpose. Although my own healing was an ongoing process, I was able to help others who had become victims of these devastating crimes. It was now time for me to make my final stand.

The new jury had been chosen and a court date was set for Friday August 25, 2008. However, the date was moved up to Wednesday, due to two other cases pleading out for a lesser sentence. It was time for the trial. This would become one of the worst experiences of my life and I had no idea at the time. I had to testify and be cross examined by the defense. This is when I realized that although I may be the victim, I was the one on trial. My body shook uncontrollably as each question was asked. As I had sworn, I told the truth and nothing but the truth.

As both the prosecution and the defense rested their cases, witnesses were allowed back into the court room as closing arguments that were soon to be heard. I was offered the option to remain in the witness room, but I wanted to hear what the defense would say about me. If I only knew then, what I know now, I would have remained in the holding room. During the closing arguments I was pointed out for the jury to see. I was called a liar and a person who only wanted attention. They were told that I could not be trusted or believed. I only could ask myself, "Why is this my trial?" After closing arguments, we were informed that we would have to remain at the court house until the jury came back with a verdict. This could be a matter of a few minutes or hours.

I hear, "All rise." The jury has a verdict. The next few minutes is a blur; however, I do hear, "We the jury find the defendant, Martin Malone Griffin, Guilty on the charge of Rape. We the jury find the defendant, Martin Malone Griffin, Not Guilty on the charge of False Imprisonment. We the jury find the defendant, Martin Malone Griffin, Guilty on the charge of Sexual Battery." "Quiet down before I have to ask you to leave the room", Judge Williams said. She was speaking to my sister. Over-joyed, she grabbed me and began to weep. The judge released the jury and began the process of sentencing. She gave him 25 years in prison with no parole. After his release in 2033, he will be on life probation and must register as a sex offender. Joy and anger fills the room. I am not only standing in the presence of my family, but his family as well. The animosity builds. I feel as though I am being killed with thoughts. I must leave.

I sit in a small room with my family and friends now, but why do I feel I am sitting alone? It seems as though I am the only one who realizes that although the judicial system is suppose to stand up for the innocent and fight for justice, the system often fails the most important people, the victims of crime. My emotions begin to overwhelm me. I have tried to stay strong for so long. Now, I am broken. I snap back to my new reality. I have won, I have succeeded, and I have defeated the enemy. I have stood up for the thousands of victims who never receive justice. I now dedicate my new future to helping those who have become victims of sexual crimes. I will be broken no more.

The Following is Public Information that can be found on the Georgia Department of Correction's Inmate Inquiry

http://www.dcor.state.ga.us

The following information is about my perpetrator. This information can be found, as Public Information, on the Georgia Department of Correction's Inmate Inquiry. He is currently serving a 25 year Felony Conviction for Rape and Sexual Battery.

If you would like to contact me or have any questions for me, you may do so at:
jnpoole@saaraonline.org, jnpoole_2009@hotmail.com, or http:www.myspace.com/joni2009

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